Blahsphemy

What are you holding on to, when there is nothing? What are you fighting for, when there is no reason? What are you hoping for, when there is no hope? What are you living for, when you are dead inside?

I have lost my emotions. I lost them while I was growing up. Now I don't know how to react when I meet a long lost face. I don't know how to greet someone who has been robbed by death. I don't know how to reassure my loved ones. I don't even know how to react when I look at myself in the mirror. I realised I lost myself, not my emotions. 

There was a time when the stories were abundant. All you had to do was to go out and look for them. Then came a different species called the reader. They lived off stories. Each wanted a special kind of story. They wanted more of everything. They wanted this, that and whatnot. They wanted everything that went under the name of stories. This led to the dwindling of stories. Stories were hunted down even before they matured. They were devoured undercooked. They were under developed. They were plagiarized. They were driven to extinction by the greedy readers. Whatever that you see as a story is just a poor excuse for the real thing. Like this one for instance.

When everything seems to be in place, you are missing out on something else. The master penetrated the silence that filled the room with these words. Just when I was getting comfortable, thought a disciple. Now what, thought another. Little did they realise that they were experiencing what the master spoke.  

Never live with your memories.  They can alter your reality beyond repair.  For tears of yesterday are stale.  So are the tales.  The wounds open up when you least expect. Never to heal again no matter what. Past becomes present and nothing remains. For memories haunt, taunt and what not.  

I am your ego, obey me. He tried to ignore that nagging voice emerging from deep inside his mind. The more he tried to ignore it, the louder it became. So loud that the whole world echoed those words. He resisted, like an army outnumbered by their enemy. He tried to hide. He tried to mute the world. But everyone and everywhere the voice followed. 

I am fighting a new battle everyday. One day I am are the friend. One day I am the foe. Somedays I am the mediator. Other days I am the battle field. The battle rages on, no matter what.  

He waited for the words to form the sentence. Right now they were like colourful beads in a kaleidoscope. He watched them form myriad patterns like a dictionary on LSD.  

I hate my shadow. It stalks me everywhere. At times I am confused as to whether I am the shadow. So now I follow my shadow. I think it's scared of me.   

The arachnid hid in his frontal lobes. It was always there. Injecting him with steady doses of ego, pride and vindictiveness as and when required. He feared that if he let it perish then he will be no more than an empty carapace.    

Don't hold back the tears Don't hold back the laughter and happiness Don't hold back your emotions For you are being watched Watched like a caged exotic wild animal That's meant to entertain everyone So prance when you can Scream your heart out when you want Even if you're dead inside

I have buried your brothers, father. I buried you first and then them. It's my duty to see you all off and I have done it well. Till we meet again, bless this son. 

When you have the words, say it. For words are volatile and will soon disappear in to silence. But sometimes silence also speaks volumes, they say. Oh these humans are a crazy lot.

When burying the dear departed Dig deep, for memories can surface unexpectedly Bringing everything back to you