Blahsphemy

"Well, I’ve been down so god damn long... that it looks like up to me.” Doors

Among the writings Jack Kerouac set down specifically about his Spontaneous Prose method, the most concise would be Belief and Technique for Modern Prose, a list of thirty “essentials”. 1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy 2. Submissive to everything, open, listening 3. Try never to get drunk outside your own house 4. Be in love with your life 5. Something that you feel will find its own form 6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind 7. Blow as deep as you want to blow 8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind 9. The unspeakable visions of the individual 10. No time for poetry but exactly what is 11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest 12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you 13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition 14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time 15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog 16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye 17. Write in recollection and

The woods do that to you, they always look familiar, long lost, like the face of a long-dead relative, like an old dream, like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water, most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago and the clouds as they pass overhead seem to testify (by their own lonesome familiarity) to this feeling. JK

Can't believe it’s December. Can't believe someone has left Delhi forever. Can’t believe I am still here. Can’t believe I still haven’t managed a decent bike. Can’t believe I am starting to like this place. Can’t believe that I am looking forward to go back to where it all started. Can’t believe we are enjoying the trip. Can’t believe my salary is a big if. Can’t believe some of my relatives are no more. Can’t believe my luck has changed. Can’t believe I had to listen to someone degrading my work. Can’t believe I haven’t worked out for months. Can’t believe I have cholesterol. Can’t believe I suffered another hangover. Can’t believe I still haven’t worn my Fossil. Can't believe ...

www.bloger.com is out there! Its the leading genealogy site on the net. A spello led me there. Just like many other sites I stumble on. Damn the stumble guys!

Recession, everybody has got something to blame now. I guess god has got a breather thanks to it. Layoffs. Pay cuts. No spends. Bad billing. Or is god having the worst time in his career?

My apologies to Richard Dawkins for the title of this blog. But then that's what my life has come to. My luck has been fluctuating worse than the stock market. Some days its fine some days its the pits. So folks maybe this is what one calls a mid-life crisis. Today I met a top-gun in my profession. He graciously went through my work and politely kicked me out. Like a fool I asked him whether I could add him in my facebook account. Thankfully he obliged. Too late in the day to wonder why I did so.

Something strange has happened. My self esteem has taken a beating. Is it recession? Or is it something else I don’t know. Maybe like they always say the elements are conspiring against you. Let me list down the facts that led me here. After making me wait like a dog outside the butcher’s shop for 39 days the asshole had the guts to tell me he is not selling the bike. If he didn’t want to sell it why make me wait? Took that news in good spirits and checked for more bikes. Found only one. But then to think that I have to reenact the whole damn process of going across to see the bike, riding it and then negotiating draws me back. Today for the first time when I got a call from upstairs, I panicked. After ages I suddenly felt that my job was at stake. Are they calling me to hand me the slip? Like what they did to PD one fine evening. I still remember his face when he came out of that room. He turned out to be lucky. He got another job. What has the recession ravaged markets got for me, I

It's been exactly 39 days since I have been waiting to be back on two wheels. Looks like I will be finally hitting the road two days from now. I am a bit scared now. But then it's high time I hit the road.

Got this clip via email.

I have been waiting for something interesting to happen to make my blog time worthwhile. Here are a few things I thought might happen. A new job. My thunderbird. A film. An award. But nothing has materialised so far. But then that doesn't mean the days so far were really dull. Ayaz and Fathima had come. I have lined up another bike in case Harsh develops cold feet. I am now exploring opportunities back home something which I thought I never will. Babu has broken the so called holy trinity and is heading to greener pastures. The stent disappeared. Winter has come. Life goes on.

Every day we manage. We manage our lives. We manage our jobs. We manage our colleagues. We manage our kids. We manage our expenses. We manage our clients. In short, management is a part and parcel of our life.

Babu pulled the plug on his Delhi stint last evening. Now it's packing bags time.

here is a list of faces that have disappeared from my life and the earth. most of them are relatives, friends and pets. i have tried to be chronological but not sure of how accurate it will be. My cousin - S Venugopal My grand mother - L Sumathi Amma My grand mother's sisters - L Pangajakshi Amma, Konkanni Valyamma and her husband Blackie, Judie, Judie's son Damu Ammavan Pushappammayi's Dad Pushpammayi's brother Ganakan Uncle Bhaskaran Pillai Kochi Raji's Valyachan Saju's Dad Sreeni's mom, dad and sister Dingo Valya Valyachan Hindi Teacher Shanta Ammayi Raji's Amoomma My Dad Sabari's Dad Raji's Appoppan Punnapra Valyachan Prasanna Valyamma Kochu Valyachan Chandrammavan Sreekala

have been waiting for the papers to be cleared to lay my hands on the Thunderbird. i guess this is a lesson in patience. everyday the guy calls up and asks for an extension. it has been almost two weeks. i even went and bought a Studds Helmet. i am still waiting.

Yup, it came straight out of the blue. One test ride and I am swooning. Hope everything works out.

Another Durga puja. Can't believe that we have completed a year in this part of the world. Didn't venture out for fear of terrorists.

last week i went to a reputed used bike dealer in town. i liked a bike. he told me it was a 1996 model and he was giving me the best deal in town. i rode the bike. we even discussed how much time it will take to spruce it up a bit and all. but before paying up the advance i asked for the registration papers. to my dismay i found that the bike was a 1981 model. when i asked about it the dealer justified himself by saying it was re-registered in 1996. he kept insisting that it was a fine buy and all that. i felt cheated and walked out on him. so here i am back to square one, still looking for a bike.

Here are a few brands that I have fond memories of. Monarch aftershave, Bush/Murphy transistors, Charms/Berkley cigarettes, Torino/Double Seven colas, Parry's candies, Radha's soap, Yezdi motorbikes, Dolphin/Premier Padmini/Standard/Herald cars, HMT watches, Omega instrument boxes, Avis/Sunnex jeans, Carona shoes, Trivandrum Hotel, Joy ice cream, Hamam, BDM, ... I am sure, there are more. I will keep adding them whenever they pop up in my memory.

Last week I almost bought another bike. This time the owner didn't have the right papers. It was a good bike. But of no use as the Traffic cops are like leeches waiting for a feast. So here I am again waiting for that dream bike to come by.

Windows have always been a part of my cubicle life. There was one behind me while I was in OOW. It overlooked a huge tree. I even have had a few simian visitors. Then came FCB. There was a window seat which we all looked forward to grab. This window overlooked the army grounds. Unfortunately it remained occupied till I left. Then there was one at DDB. In fact there were two. The first one belonged to the writer whose seat I had occupied while moving in. Then came the window that overlooked the Al Khuwair roundabout. These windows were never opened for the sole reason that the weather outside was hostile. Now for the latest window in my life. Its the O2 window. This one overlooks a park and a banyan tree. My visitors include a squirrel, a crow, parrots and a few mynahs.

Its been a year since I set foot on Indian soil. When I packed my bags the economy was booming. The rupee was growing stronger by the day. NRIs like me were flocking to return to the motherland. We were all convinced that India was rising. But, twelve months is all that it took for me to pack my bags again. Terrorists have struck three states. The economy is going nowhere. Inflation is soaring. The rupee is sliding fast. Time to don that NRI cloak once again and fly away.

I am on this chap's mailing list. I don't know who he is and what he does. All I know is that I get around eight e-mail forwards from him daily. I don't want to be on his list. I don't know how to un-subscribe. I tried tagging him as spam. But the spam filter likes him for some strange reason. I still get his forwards, the ones he deems funny, the ones he feels that I should see and yes the ones he feels that I should forward to my friends and their friends.

Three days back the followers of a certain god planted nine bombs. Five went off, the rest were defused before anything happened. Innocents were caught unaware. Today for all those who were unaffected, life is back to normal. But for those who lost their loved ones nothing will ever be the same again. Don't know what sins that god had committed to deserve such followers.

something happened. i have the words in my mind. i string them to form meaningful sentences. but, the moment i touch the keyboard, they vanish. which leaves me with nothing to key in. nada. nil. well has anyone coined something called tabula rasa syndrome?

Its moo time once again. Finally decided not to invest in any mode of transport. Decided to push on till next year. BTW this was the first bike I really wanted to go in for. But some things never work out the way you want them to be.

i have nothing to blog about. does that make me boring? does my life suck? or is it just one of those days when you have absolutely nothing to blog about?

another month down. another calendar girl forgotten. another death. another birth. another affair. another lie. another truth. another discovery. another scam. another flood. another day. it's an irony that we all live from one day to the other never thinking of one another.

what keeps me going when hunger strikes

its back. went to the land of trams. saw everything else but a tram. got two job offers. one better than the other. finished two rounds with one. so far nothing has happened. salary came in really late. my bank decides not to credit the money to my account.

I love how sentences get eaten up by the backspace button. It's fun watching them greet their doom one alphabet at a time and disappear for good.Why don’t you try it? Choose a chunky font. Key in whatever that comes to your mind. And once you have drained your mind and strained your fingers keep the backspace key pressed till you wipe them out. Want to watch them disappear again? Do Ctrl Z and repeat the same? Believe me it's fun. It's suicidal. Its sadistic.

"Why do you skip jobs too often?" Even I am wondering why. I get bored too fast. I am a rolling stone. I like the new office smell. I like meeting new people. I like the perks that come with every change. I like meeting new clients. I love working on various brands. I like wallowing in new work cultures. I learn from my experiences. I love it when it reflects on my resume. Or is it the simple fact that I still haven't found what I am looking for. Wish I knew what I am looking for as well.

nope doggy, you are too damn big to imitate the jaguar on jags

wish i had the voice of Chris Rhea to sing lol

the orange one is the vintage range rover. towards the end you get to see the 2007 turbo charged one. to think that i had these beauties for myself for the shoot. hmmm, those where the days.

Life is all about running after what we don’t have. Finally when we get it, we realize that we never wanted it in the first place! So we run again, after something else. The race never ends; only we get tired of the running. It’s just like the Floyd song – Breathe: Dig that hole, forget the sun And when at last the work is done Don't sit down It's time to dig another one For long you live and high you fly But only if you ride the tide And balanced on the biggest wave You race towards an early grave

i feel like i have stepped on fresh dog poo. someone who has seen my portfolio pointed out a silly grammar mistake made by me. i am so ashamed to even think that I was careless enough not to notice it. there are bad days for everyone. but then it has been a bad month for me so far. and now to top it all a head hunter is adamant that i attend an interview, which i have no interest in. oh god, save me, please.

there it is a skeleton waiting to be wrapped in metal and fuelled.

it has happened to me before and now it's happening again. true deja moo style! my gym just disappeared overnight. the first time it happened, i was in a different country in a different time zone. now it's my country and my time zone. the gym has disappeared. thanks to some stupid rule which prevents any commercial activity within a residential area. damn.

It’s been years since someone posed that question to me. “Have you done long copy ads?” I don’t blame them. It’s easy to get away with a paragraph. The real question is, can you get away with paragraphs and paragraphs. If you are good then, you definitely can. But then, you have to be adept enough to woo the reader to the last line of your last paragraph. It takes time and serious skill to achieve this. Today, long copy ads are competing with busy schedules, eye candy ads, TV, kids, wife, friends…the list goes on and on. Every writer faces this at some point in his life. I had a peek at Seth Godin’s blog. Man, that guy blogs like there is no tomorrow. That too across some five blogs! Pages and pages of relevant and thought provoking ideas, views, news and what not. And here I am struggling to fill an A4 page with words. I have a strange feeling that this guy has a comp wired to his brain. Look at his head. It’s as smooth as an egg. All those ideas would have pushed at his hair follic

Everyday i wake up with ideas to blog. why can't i blog this. or is that better. finally when i reach the comp, the ideas just seem to fade away. they are too elusive. today also the same thing happened. but then how can the blogger in me let go just like that? so i decided to write down the ideas and blog them down one by one. right now the ideas list is growing. the blogging isn't! i salute all you hardcore bloggers out there, you are too great. i realised blogging is no child's play. i hereby promise that deja moo will have something solid to mull over. yes, solid cow/bull pats on the way folks.

i clicked on the create post for the umpteenth time. still i have nothing to blog. am i facing a bloggers block or what? or is my life a bit dull to even blog about? only time will tell. things are looking good on the job front.

i started another blog. not that i am going to stop this one. the other one is too easy. i have christianed it creative concussions. i will be posting everything under the sun that leaves a lasting impression creatively. so here i am trawling the world wide web for inspirational gems. so here i am on a saturday blogging here while i should've been there and vice versa.

"Once every hundred years, media changes. The last hundred years have been defined by the mass media. In the next hundred years, information won't be just pushed out to people: It will be shared among the millions of connections people have." "Nothing influences people more than a recommendation from a trusted friend. A trusted referral influences people more than the best broadcast message. A trusted referral is the Holy Grail of advertising." Mark Zuckerberg

too sluggish even to hit the keyboard. had a heavy meal at fortune cookies. hope my fortunes change for the better.

an interesting use for a flyover. its a no rain zone for two wheeler riders and pedestrians!

what the heck is zebraxing? it can't be xeroxing as there is a mention about engines.

My 2.6 litre car The speed lanes Dune bashing The beaches Bon Jovi Paid holidays Camels Harley Showroom AC Malls Abhayas Did I miss something? Or am I missing anything? I seriously don't know. Life is going on. It's been a year since I owned a vehicle. I was fortunate enough to drive quite a few. Someday, someday...

Ten days and a few gall stones Gall stones, gall bladder, liver, pancreas, endoscopy and laproscopy How a visit to the local clinic made me poorer by a few thousands and my wife lose her stones. Chills, stomach ache, gas, a few pimples… that’s all it took to lose around a lakh and ten days of leave. All that's lying there in that kidney dish.

Its Kevin Roberts vs Bill Bryson and Kevin won. Because he is the one with all the love. Bill just has history going for him. No love. So he lost. Sounds like a rap song? That’s because right now Outkast is belting out Bombs over Baghdad on my PC. I have only 35% of juice left in my batteries. It won’t be long before it dries off. I hope the main power supply is restored before that. For some strange reason I am now mentally in Dxb at the Aerosmith concert. I drove all the way down for that concert. I didn’t have to pay for the tickets as my friend paid for it. I am now walking with them from the parking lot looking at all the Harleys and people from all walks of life. Steven Tyler was a riot. So was Joe Perry. So was the belly dancer who pirouetted with Steve for the ending song. I saw many familiar faces there. Only one recognized me. For the others I was a seen-somewhere-before face.

Learned a new acronym, SAD – single and desperate. Hey, stop sniggering I am not SAD. I am glad not Gladwell of the Malcolm tribe. This week, if the head hunter is right, I will be going in for a job interview. It’s been exactly four years since I had a job interview. It’s always fun. There was a stage when I used to shit in my pants and sweat like no ones business. Hope this one will be different. I saw some kickass creative from India today. Awesome stuff guys, when and where do you creative brains think? Wherever it is, hope that it doesn’t end up like the g-spot injection. “Hey do you want to get ideas in the loo? Shove some botox up!” What’s this world coming to dude? Is there any injection to cure the world we live in? No, weed is definitely not the answer. Pass me that joint will you, while I deliberate on this. Cheers.

my very own martian i saw him buzzing away on a rainy day maybe he forgot his human costume yeah there are bad head days in mars too

that's the chair that started it all that's the chair that will end it all that's the chair that has no front or back that's the chair that can make or break that's the chair that has been put aside enough of this crap. just because you can write doesn't mean you write rubbish every time. but then that's this blog all about. moo, moo and more moo.

Clios, Cannes, One Show... not even a lousy Pink Slip award by the local daily. Its awful really. no one to blame. no lame excuses. aaaargh do something about it real fast.

its a conspiracy for sure. first the laptop. then the network. now the battery. what next? its been ages since i even blogged and it shows. i didn't know how to create a new post! damn it. but then, i have broken through. let me see how long this spell lasts.    

there it is, the hornet's nest. waiting to be poked. i have never felt so paranoid looking at residential areas. but then, just imagine all of them swarming out in to your world. community living sucks.

vuja de was my colleagues contribution. his book had that title. in fact, i guess his whole life was based on that. now comes deja fuck. GQ had put it as a sensual phenomenon. but then i guess one can call the been fucked like this before feeling in any context, deja fuck. i somehow took a fascination to that word. wanted to have it as my own, but sadly it was taken. congrats to you dude, whoever you are. i have been deja fucked again.

The weird thing is that it has been more than a week since I blogged. But then nobody noticed, not even me. That's the sad state of bloggers in this wide wide wide blogosphere of ours. I have waited so long so that I can post something that makes sense. Something that lives up to what I have keyed in as my blog's description. So here I am raving and ranting about nothing. Something inside me says maybe you haven't cracked the insight. Or is it my fight and my vision that's getting muddled? Can we brainstorm again and figure out what life is all about. I am going to stick by the ways DDB has taught me. Next time I blog, it's going to be my origins and history that I will be baring before you all.

"Dreams mean work!" I didn't say that. it was Pilar's lover who quotes this as the story ends. I have had the book for almost six years now. it never struck me the first time i read it. and then one day it just lit up like a floodlight enlightening me.

don't know exactly when the prayer started but, looks like the world is oblivious to their prayer. some have lost body parts. some are headless! but, the prayer goes on .

i have been procrastinating on this aspect of my life for too long. right from the day blogging came in to existence to this very nano second i am keying in these words. today on the Malayalam auspicious day of Vishu i have done it finally. why the delay, at least some of you might ask. but before you started with that why, i was faced with a bigger why as to why write a blog at all. aren't we all writing, rewriting and forwarding enough and more in to this wide wide wide medium? then one day i realised it, i have to have a blog. to be with the Jones. to be seen as tech savvy. to be see as free minded. to be seen as creative. to be seen as a writer . to be a better individual. to be a lot of things. but then most important of all, to be truthful to Tom Peters and his 1 00 ways to help you succeed/ make money . yes, it was Peters who got me this close to blogging. so here i am.

oh my goodness there you were in my drafts all these days while i ditched the idea and went on to do something different