the unwanted mailing list

I am on this chap's mailing list. I don't know who he is and what he does. All I know is that I get around eight e-mail forwards from him daily. I don't want to be on his list. I don't know how to un-subscribe. I tried tagging him as spam. But the spam filter likes him for some strange reason. I still get his forwards, the ones he deems funny, the ones he feels that I should see and yes the ones he feels that I should forward to my friends and their friends.

Comments

Rodentia

Last night they discovered a human in the sewers, screamed the headline on Daily Vermin Times. Ed Rat paused to scan the headline and sipped his morning tea. He was in charge of the highly successful Human Extermination Programme. He came from the highly acclaimed family of rats that had unleashed Plague on the frail human race centuries ago. At that time rats used to be in the sewers and the humans used to be outside. Maybe they too had a Vermin Extermination Program. How ironic, thought Ed. We were destined to rule the world. We withstood their poison and laboratory tests. In fact, the tests made us stronger and resistant to the diseases. Now look at them hiding in sewers away from us, fearing us. The telephone rang. Ed woke with a start from his reverie. There must be something wrong, he thought. My room has shrunk, there are metal bars everywhere. It looks like a cell. I can see my cousins in another cell. They are all playing with something. What's this lump on my hand? What...

Long copy

It’s been years since someone posed that question to me. “Have you done long copy ads?” I don’t blame them. It’s easy to get away with a paragraph. The real question is, can you get away with paragraphs and paragraphs. If you are good then, you definitely can. But then, you have to be adept enough to woo the reader to the last line of your last paragraph. It takes time and serious skill to achieve this. Today, long copy ads are competing with busy schedules, eye candy ads, TV, kids, wife, friends…the list goes on and on. Every writer faces this at some point in his life. I had a peek at Seth Godin’s blog. Man, that guy blogs like there is no tomorrow. That too across some five blogs! Pages and pages of relevant and thought provoking ideas, views, news and what not. And here I am struggling to fill an A4 page with words. I have a strange feeling that this guy has a comp wired to his brain. Look at his head. It’s as smooth as an egg. All those ideas would have pushed at his hair follic...

Imploration

Dear Owner, I have been working at your esteemed residence ever since I was taken out of my original packaging. I have ensured that not even a single day passes without me giving 100% to the job I have been entrusted with. But, of late I have been called a laggard, a good for nothing, a pain in the god knows where and a host of other expletives by you and your family members. I want you to have a one-to-one with me and explain if there is something wrong with me. It would be great if we could do it while your wife is not around. For I suspect that she's the one who has brought about this predicament. I have seen her drooling over advertisements of some futuristic model that claims that it can run circles around me. I strongly feel such magazines should be banned for your monetary stability if not for anything else. At times I feel I am an unwanted member of your family. I don't deserve to be insulted and ignored like this. I request you to look into my c...

Blahsphemy

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